The Monster of the Rock ('N' Roll)
The Monster of the Rock ('N' Roll) is spotted for the first time around the early 1950s, but there is still a certain Clash among the scholars on the exact date. It is therefore necessary to wait in the mid-1950s for the first reliable (even if a bit scratched) recording of its existence. He is a monster that can present himself in many ways, but his inevitable feature is the rebellious Hair, in addition to the tendency to live in the fields of blue wildFlowerPower.
He proclaims that he has a peace & love mind, but don’t trust too much of his catchphrases and always remember that he is unpredictable. You Never Can Tell what makes him angry, for example if in the ice-cream parlour he does not find Tutti Frutti (his favorite taste), the monster absorbs solar radiation and throws all around Great Balls of Fire.
About the diet he is strictly carnivorous (human flesh, obviously), though he does not disdain some Fisher and sometimes a Berry or two. Every year in June <3 he's goin' to Jackson, so for small expenses he always keeps some Cash <3 in his pocket, though not having the pockets (and, if it comes to that, not even the dress) how it is possible remains a mystery.
But, Hey Ho, Let’s Go to take a deeper look into the essential aspect, that is how to survive a meeting with this wild and terrifying monster. Keep in mind that taking advantage of his hippy and playful look, he will try to get closer to eat you more easily. To do this he uses a friendly approach, in fact you will see him strolling toward you with an innocent air, then with the most loving tone in the world, he will greet you with a carefree, "Hey Hey, My My." To which, do not panic but keep a cool attitude and answer, "Rock and Roll can never die". But remember to answer speaking, absolutely DO NOT sing unless you are Neil Young in person. Otherwise, even if you sing well like Pavarotti, the Monster will consider an outrage your attempt of intonation and will swallow you in one bite.
Excerpt from the notes for an essay on monstrology. Grammatical errors are due to the sudden and mysterious disappearance of the Author.
|
